Why Animal Crossing New Horizons is Better Than my Real Life

Well for starters, I can say with absolute certainty that no one has COVID-19 on my island so there’s that.

Animal Crossing New Horizons came out at literally the perfect time, and my purchase was worth every single penny. It has been over 70 days since the pandemic started, and there is still no indication as to when the pandemic will end. During the day, I often find myself gravitating closer to my Switch in order to play Animal Crossing for hours on end instead of dealing with the responsibilities of my real life.

With my real life having job demands and chores, and other responsibilities, it’s easy to try and avoid it all and escape to my virtual deserted island. My friends that I haven’t been able to see or hang out with during the pandemic I’ve been able to hang out with them virtually through Animal Crossing on our individual deserted islands.

Animal Crossing is such a cute game that allows players to fully customize their own unique experience. Animal Crossing’s characters all have different personalities and even the “worst” personalities are there to support you. Animal Crossing flourishes on positivity and it is hard to not find something new or interesting to do every day on your own little “deserted” island. Unlike other games, there is nothing “Bad” that can really happen to you, which is probably the biggest appeal of the game. Everything is mean to just kind of work out, it’s a slow-paced game, and allows for the player to have a chance to just experience what is happening around them.

With the pandemic making the future seem more uncertain than ever before and the news always hanging on pessimism, Animal Crossing brings hope to its players. There is a lot of comfort in that the days are usually predictable, and there is always some sort of reward for playing the game whether it is Nook Miles or extra bells or presents that fall from the sky every few minutes.

I am not trying to say that my real life is terrible, in fact I am quite fortunate for how I am doing during the pandemic and the opportunities that I still have. However with only depressing news on media networks and lack of socializing with close friends and family, I am having a hard time not catching myself in dark places or crying of frustration.

I’ve been playing Animal Crossing since I had my gamecube and was playing in the early 2000s. This was when I was also when I was about in elementary school so I barely understood how the game actually worked at the time. Now that I am older and have played other versions of Animal Crossing like Animal Crossing City Folk, the game has been so much more enjoyable and I’ve invested hours and hours into improving my island and actually getting to know my villagers.

a morning cocktail

My mornings are bound to a new ritual, a ritual that I did not really have a choice in. At four in the morning, every morning I awake to blood pressure cuffs around my legs as my arms are unusable. The machine lets out an angry beep, unpleased with my inaccurate blood pressure. Cold stethoscopes press onto my chest, back, stomach. Listening, listening for the beat that never comes, or for the beat that comes too frequently or not soon enough. At this point, the exhaustion takes over and I don’t even notice nor do I have the memory of nurses checking in on me.

Soft light enters the room as eight o’clock creeps up on me. I wake up to a new face, a face that may be familiar from a few mornings before, or sometimes a complete stranger, with their hands touching different parts of my body. Checking for vitals, checking for life, as if the wires attached to my body and the monitor displaying clear signs of life were not enough. Their icy cold stethoscope, why is it alway so cold? Rests on my chest, on my back, listening. Listening to the beat of my heart, the inconsistency so clear now. No longer was I paced, but I am right back where I was five years ago. They take their time, they have to be sure of the beats. The inconsistency scares me, I have never heard it myself, I have only witnessed the images on the monitors. I tease doctors about how it must be fun to listen to my heart, but I was always good at covering up my fears with humor.

Each morning starts with a cocktail of sorts, fun little pills to help me get through the day and get me discharged faster. I have been bound to the routine, even though I never wanted any of it. Who am I kidding, who would want any of this? A blood infection? A whole infection that makes your blood poisonous and deadly? Your own blood.

To be a prisoner in my own body. Shackled to a bed, with encouragement to walk free, but made difficult by the heavy weight in my chest, and the lack of energy to untangle myself from the monstrosity that took over my bed. I couldn’t gather enough energy or desire to get up and drag my anger around. Anger, a dirty word, that feels even dirtier inside. It sits heavy in my stomach and comes up as word vomit–angry, mean, regrettable. So many regrets the words I said, to the people who deserved it least. To the anger that sat inside of me and burst when I couldn’t hold it in any longer. Anger, so powerful, so destructive.

The anger is so heavy within, and I cannot figure out how to not be angry. The anger comes and goes in waves. Waves, I wish I could feel cold water rush across my skin, and smell the salty air. I can almost hear it, or maybe I’m confusing it for the wound vac. I crave to walk out of here on my own two feet, I crave to walk through the doors. Hopefully it’ll be today. Please let it be today.